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Saturday, February 6, 2016

Texas Photo Vomit

Here are some gems from the last day I was in Utah / the month I spent in Texas with my fam. I'm back in Utah now and I'll write more about that very soon, but that month man.. it was better than going to some exotic place and traveling the world because I was with people who loved me so much. It felt counter intuitive to drive away from the most love I've felt for a while, but just to know I have that support is reassuring to me.

Anyway, here are the gems.

 My capstone team. Nailed it. Thank goodness.
 xoxo bye foreversz














WHEN THE CEO OF USA WATER POLO RETWEETS YOUR ARTICLE AND GIVES YOU PROPS WHAAAAT



 circa 2010 with Riles




 I found dis on the ground
 This is the weirdest faced picture of me in existence probably

SIBS



Ok love you thanks for your kindness during these strange times be back soon
k see ya

Sunday, January 17, 2016

kid sis.















Staying in Texas means spending a bunch of time with my kid sis, Riley.
She's my stepsister, but I just call her my sister, because that's what she is to me.
She's taller than me now. She's still hilarious. We've been close since the day we met, and we're still close although I don't get to see her or Ty as much as I wish I could.

She agreed to let me do her hair and makeup as well as style her for a few pictures. I got a new camera last year and haven't been able to use it much until now. These shots are all straight out of the camera with no editing whatsoever because
1. I don't have any editing software on my laptop and
2. She's so beautiful, I couldn't even think of anything to edit.

We took a million pictures and my mom, Russ-O and Rocky came along for the ride to get a few of the two of us. Ty was at a swim meet in Louisiana so we couldn't get any pictures of him, but I'll catch him sometime.

Also, Riley is pumped because the pictures hanging on the wall at my mom's house are from when she was in 6th grade. She was very concerned that if she died early, they'd have to use a picture from years and years ago at the funeral, hahah.

I love her.

K see ya.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

A Step in the Right Direction

Listen. There's something big happening in my life and if you've been living under a rock and haven't the slightest idea... please, do live on.

But if you've got ideas, and you'd like to talk to me, I won't turn you away.

I've always been honest here. This is my place to be just that, 100%.

I write and I backspace but I don't think too much about it - if I think too much about it I delete the post because it isn't me coming through in the perfectly crafted sentences.

I am put together but not perfect. I've accepted this.

Anyway. I'm not ready or in the right mind to let the people who click on the link to my blog, who just happen upon it by chance, to happen upon this something.

It is important, it is close to my heart, it is a part of me, and it is not for those looking for answers to something they don't need answers for.

But for those of you I know, or feel like I know through this blog, feel free to email me if you'd like.

This is a step in the right direction for me. This is what I can do right now.

In other news, besides taking 82 pictures/videos of my dog all day, I'm very happy to say I've accepted a job offer in Midvale, Utah, with the healthcare company I interned for during my last semester of school. It'll be a bit different than my internship because I won't be stationed in an actual hospital like I was in Provo, but it will still be grand. I am excited and hopeful. I am so ecstatic. I cannot tell you how happy I am about this - when I interned for this company, I saw how much the doctors and nurses and every other staff member in the hospital cared about every. single. patient.

EVERY SINGLE ONE. They all went above and beyond, all of the time, to help people. And that is so hard to find these days.

I am so pleased to be able to work my first job, so soon out of college, with an exceptional company. I know God has blessed me, and I know for a fact He led me to this company. So many tiny orchestrations to lead me to this point - to be able to start a career where I'll be genuinely happy to tell people I work there.

I'm leaving out the name of the healthcare system because there are some creepy people on the interwebs these days and I'm ultra paranoid (like, miss the first 20 minutes of the Star Wars midnight premiere because I'm envisioning in my mind how I would escape if anyone were to come and do something evil in the theater, paranoid) and I want everyone to be safe. Just know it's an ethical, respectable place and I am so happy.


This dog is seriously my best friend these days and it's hilarious. If I walk anywhere, he follows me. When I found out I got the job, I yelled and hugged him. He's my buddy. Dogs are seriously the strangest yet biggest blessings. It's weird you can love an animal, and feel their loyalty, like you do. Ok dog rant over sorry I love my pup.


K see ya.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

home-ish.

I'm in Texas. I've got Rocky to keep me company. And my mahm.
I'm figuring things out. I'm applying for jobs.

Things are gonna be okay. Many things already are.

I'm grateful for the love of my family. And this dog.





K see ya.

Friday, December 4, 2015

Hopeful

Almost every week my brother asks me if I'm still writing on this blog and I always tell him I haven't been a ton, but I'll start writing more.

But it's hard.

There's a lot of the unknown happening in my life with graduation in two weeks and a bunch of other things.

It has been hard to be hopeful.

Really, really hard.

But over Thanksgiving I spent the week with my family in St. George, and they were supportive of me. They unleashed the Bret who isn't burdened by sadness or fear and frustration. I don't know why I can't be that Bret all of the time. I try.

But that made me a bit more hopeful.

And seeing my nephew Lincoln, and later my other newest nephew Cope - how can I remain hopeless?

I have the chance to be a part of these brand new lives. I loved holding Lincoln and looking at Cope. No matter how my life is going, I'll always be able to be a positive influence on these little guys.

And that made me hopeful. Completely hopeful.

There is so much to look forward to.
There is so much to be happy about.

There is a lot of pain, and a lot of hard things to wade through.

I'll keep going, though. Standing still... standing still and watching all of this pass me would be a mistake. And I know how that feels.

I am hopeful.

and I love my family.